Fried Green Tomatoes

I've never seen that movie... but here's what's going on in Dortmund:

• Finals are next week (February 4th - 8th). I'm less than excited.
  
• I'm not particularly keen on the idea of doing my internship at the school I'm currently teaching for, so I may be making a switch to another school if at all possible.
  
• Avery will be here on the 8th.
• I think I want to learn to ski.
• I miss root beer.
  
• Basket's birthday is coming up, she'll be seven(teen) and apparently she looks older than I do the majority of the time. Right now I could care less, but when we're in our forties... (you can't see me right now but I'm making a thumbs up).
  
• I'm currently attempting to write a short story in German... it's about a platypus and his ugly duck friend... I'll let you know how it turns out.
  
• "My" German language skills continue to be a grammatical train wreck whenever I attempt to speak. The sound I believe is equivalent to nails on a chalk board. My vocabulary is slowly growing. Last week I learned the word for platypus (das Schnabeltier)... something I feel is essential... as well as der Kalkstein (Limestone), Wasser führende Schicht (Aquifer), and zwittrig (Androgynous).
• It's currently raining.
  

Toilet Paper Strike: Day 38

As a policy, I always try see the best in people... and in the case of my roommates, there's not a whole lot to see.

So far:

• Fish has been left on the counter multiple times for 2-3 days at a time
• Nearly every pan has at one point had something grow in it
• When they're not leaving random dinner rolls in the oven or on the counter (generally for a few days at a time) they're leaving meat in there. Apparently no one told them that oven's don't work the same way refrigerators do when it comes to keeping cooked meat safely edible.
  
• I've found tampon wrappers IN the shower...
• Next to two disposable razors full of pubic hair (the tampon wrapper was left in the soap dish for three days, the razors for over a week).
• One roommate insists upon cleaning her muddy shoes with the kitchen hand towel... only so she can hang the towel back on the rack.
• And the list goes on...

All in all... when they're not pissing me off by being utterly disgusting... they're just flat out pissing me off. To make a long, complicated, bilingual story short... we've been on a toilet paper strike for thirty-eight days (by my rough estimate). It started about a week before I went on vacation (which was two weeks) and since then... it's been a BYOTP affair. I know this because I often times forget a roll in there only to have it wipe the asses of the very people who are shitting on me.

I know what you're thinking though... "Well who's supposed to get the toilet paper?"
- Toilet paper, paper towels, baking paper, aluminum foil, trash bags, sponges, dish soap, and other cleaning supplies are supposed to be paid for from the "fund" (i.e. the blue plastic Tupperware thing that sits next to the spice rack). The idea is that every month each of us is supposed to put in 5 Euro ($7.36) to keep supplies at a satisfactory level. >>Fast Forward>> I quit putting money in there because no one else was, we were always out of things, and what's the point of putting money in a jar that I'll have to take out three minutes later to buy X house supply with?

Moving on... or rather back....

Last night, Julia - who thinks she's my mother (which is ridiculous because I like my mom) - physically kept me from leaving the apartment and taking out the trash. It was then that I decided I was though. Final straw. Game over. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. I'm either moving out... or I'm going to start listening to rock music.... really, really LOUD rock music... which I'm sure is against "Mother Julia's" rules.

"Mother Julia's" *KNOWN* Rules:

• No more than one friend over at a time on a school night, for no longer than one hour and no later than 7:30 p.m.
  
• I should also ask permission for the previous stated situation...
  
• On weekends I'm allowed to have two (count'um, TWO) friends over as long as:
• it's ok with the other roommates
• they aren't planning on having anyone else over
• and if my friends (all two of them) leave by 10 p.m.
  
• All doors will be closed according to the weekly demonstration given by "Mother Julia" (thus far she's shown every person in our apartment the proper way to shut a door... what she doesn't realize is that AFTER she gives said demonstration we all slam the doors on purpose).
• ALWAYS wear house shoes. Abide can cook in her underwear... but damn it I MUST wear shoes. (I didn't do this one time and they physically put shoes on me.)
  

There are a few other rules too but they're a little foggier... something like "thou shalt not shower more than once a week" and "thou shalt only refrigerate uncovered stinky foods that you intend to spill inside the fridge"... but I think they apply more to her.

Why I love children...

I was on the subway this afternoon when two small boys (about six or seven) sat down in front of me. Their conversation was fairly normal for small boys... looking out the window, pointing to the Fußball stadium, etc. until one of the boys started saying, "Scheiße" every other word (Scheiße = shit). "Scheiße this," and, "Scheiße that," he said. Apparently, in the world of a seven-year-old, "Alles Scheiße." Anyway, his friend didn't seem to agree because halfway through his rant his friend looked at him and said, "Du redest zuviel" (You talk too much).

My Trip: Has Been Blogged!

(See index to navigate to earlier destinations in the trip as the pictures take up quite a bit of room... just so no one (mom) misses anything.)

UPDATE: Has finally been blogged about...

Dresden, Germany

Originally we were going to stay in Dresden for two or three days depending on how we felt. As it turns out, we only felt like staying there for the afternoon.



It was a long trip that ended with this: ^

The ass of a Ford Fiesta with a very "states-like" plate (NYC) and a ridiculous window sticker.

Prague, Czech Republic

This is Prague.

Prague is very pretty.


This is me in Prague.


This is a strip club I accidentally visited. It was one of the more uncomfortable moments of my life. (Good mothers everywhere are gasping...)


This is a "Good Mother" (vodka, amaretto, and a straw).


And this is our bar tab... (in CZK... don't panic).


Me - dancing unattractively - but having a darn good time.


Okan and I (No, I'm not sniffing him...).


This is a homeless man in Prague who got drunk and passed out in the middle the "war zone" and woke up when some people nearly set him on fire via firework. Apparently in Prague they don't shoot the fireworks into the air as much as they shoot them into crowds of people.
(New Years in Prague is amazing... and absolutely CRAZY!)


This is an unattractive squinting picture of me by a boat.

This the statue outside of the hostel we stayed in. I liked it, so I took a picture.


And this is me being lazy and not really writing anything at all about the most amazing city I've ever been to.

Vienna, Austria

Ohhhhh Vienna...
Where the weather's frigid cold, internet cafes are cheap, and beer is ordered by the meter...


I'm gunna be honest... not a lot was accomplished in Vienna. We saw some things... castle-blah-blah-covered-in-ice and church-of-I-can't-feel-my-aaah-face... you know, general stuff. I did however purchase a new coat and my first pair of "sock-pants"... both of which were essential in surviving Vienna.